Memory Narcolepsy Today (October 2005)

Hello, and welcome to October's edition of Memory Narcolepsy Today, the magazine written for, and behalf of, Memory Narcolepsy sufferers and their friends.

Memory Narcolepsy Today is a subscription service so if you feel you are receiving this communication in error, then you probably forgot that you signed up for it. Don't worry, it happens. If you no longer want to receive Memory Narcolepsy Today, then send an email to us and then, according to standard industry practice, we'll forget to do anything about it.

This edition of Memory Narcolepsy Today is based on that important subject of un-losing your car. According to our president:

Losing your car is one of the most inconvenient things a Memory Narcolepsy sufferer can experience

So, we offer these hints and tips in the hope of adding to your enjoyment of this recently-diagnosed disease.


Fact: Memory Narcolepsy sufferers lose their car approximately once for every time they park it when not at home. In the words of our president, "get used to it".

Hint: try to park your car in the same spot at places you frequent regularly. This action, in and off itself, won't help you to remember that you parked your car in the same spot as yesterday but it will help you feel more in control when you do accidentally un-lose your car after a very nice stroll around the car park.

Factoid: Most lost cars are, in fact, not lost. They are simply parked in places where a Memory Narcolepsy sufferer is currently not.


Fact: Marking your car with your phone number can be a really good idea if you have friends who own helicopters or have a private pilot's license.

Hint: Using a really wide brush mark your phone number in three parts on the car. The area code goes on the bonnet, the dialling prefix on the roof, and the last four digits on the boot. Now, as long as you parked outside, you and your friends can find your car from the air. Using fluorescent paint can really help if you live in Scandinavia where it is dark six months of the year.

Factoid: Cars marked with their owner's phone number allow members of the general public to greatly assist with the unlosing process.


Fact: Multi-Storey car parks can be a nightmare experience for a Memory Narcolepsy sufferer. To add insult to injury, parking fees in New York City are now around 50 dollars a minute so not losing your car is a really good investment in today's poorly performing economy.

Hint: Go to Wallmart and buy a gross of pens. You'll need this many Biros to make up for the pens you are about to lose. After your park your car, retrieve a pen from your pen stash and kiss the pen goodbye as the pen is soon to be lost.

Now write the location you THINK you parked in on the ticket BEFORE you get out of the car. This location is your hint, it's probably not correct, but it will help you narrow down your search a lot.

Upon exiting the car note the parking spot number, if applicable. Don't forget to cross out the original number you wrote down as that was probably incorrect.

Now, go and find the floor number you are on. Again, adjust the annotation on your ticket as needed. Note that the reason you wrote this all down twice is that you'll probably forget at least one of these four steps, so this is where you narrow your odds of losing your car.

Also, draw a picture of where you parked the car as the fact that you parked at the end of row A, floor 1, next to the stairs, by the hole in the wall from the recent bomb blast, is not something you'll actually remember for much longer than 10 minutes.

Upon returning to the now-unfamiliar car park, use your ticket as a GUIDE (not an absolute) to finding your car. Using these tips can reduce finding your car to under half an hour!

Factoid: You lost your pen around the time you wrote down the last set of car coordinates.


Thanks for joining us in this edition of Memory Narcolepsy Today and don't forget to eat some chocolate!